I want to take a moment to discuss the epic poem, William of Adelphos. Much like some of its contemporaries, the tragedy of Sir William is well-known but with an obscure origin.

Scholars estimate the poem was written in the 12th century by Jonas de Quincey, suggesting an Aquitanian or Ligurian tradition—unsurprising, given the frequent references to the evils of the Franks.

Most recall the poem’s opening two stanzas:

Hark! Here ye the tale of William,
Born of Adelphos, slayer of giants.
Listen well, of how he did fly
And wooed many a maiden fair,
And became a prince among fallen angels.

In Adelphos West, he was whelped and reared
On the tourney ground did he wend his days
Young and brave, and mighty of sword.
Lo! The King of Adelphos was vain;
He did challenge William to combat.
Yet upon the King’s fall did William show mercy,
And the king, in turn, exiled William of Adelphos
To quest to find the Land of the Sweetest Air.

Of course, this is translated into Modern English for meaning, and not for meter or rhyme. Like most poems of this era, there was little consistency: characters die in one section only to reappear two stanzas later, while others seem to change appearance to fit the scene.

William of Adelphos remains one of literature’s most elusive treasures.

Selection from “Le Prince Frais,” an early 18th-century translation of Jonas de Quincey’s epic poem. This particular copy is from a rare collection and is part of the permanent exhibit at the Pemberley House and Museum in Derbyshire, UK.

If you’re having a hard time keep all the various places and kingdoms straight, especially after this post, then keep reading.

I’m about to throw a shit-ton of history at you.

Also, I’m summing up about 700 years worth Empires and migrations and languages, so… Yeah.

I’m happy to discuss my gross inaccuracies more in-depth elsewhere.

Places

Let’s start at the regional level. These collected islands are the British Islands.

The two main islands are Eire (what is now Ireland), and Britain.

They’re surrounded by a bunch of smaller islands, such as Man, the Orkneys, Jersey, and approximately 5,928 others with various states of habitableness.

Britain

On Britain, you have more of the Dal Riata kingdoms in the Northwest. In the Northeast, are the Pictish kingdoms. The rest of the Island was essentially split between the Britons in the west, and the Germanic kingdoms in the east, led by the Angles and Saxons.

All of the islands are made up of smaller kingdoms, principalities, and duchies, etc.; each led by a King, Prince, or Duke. Kingdoms, duchies, etc., are about the size of a modern-day county.

At the start of the story, only Briton has a High King to unite all the smaller British Kingdoms.

People

So who the fuck are all these Britons and Angles and shit, and what’s the difference between them?

Let’s step back to the Roman Empire:

Besides the Romans, there were a few other groups vying for power (or, in some cases, Roman favor). This included the Celtic and Germanic tribes.

The Germans

I mean the OG Germans, not the present-day Germans with their delightful efficiencies and schnitzels.

The Germanic peoples were also a bunch of tribes with related languages and customs.

During the Roman Empire, the German tribes were mostly in what is modern-day Germany, Luxembourg, Belgium, and the Netherlands.

Unlike the Celts, the Germans weren’t so easily conquered. In fact, they played a large role in bringing down the Empire: You may remember the Visigoths from 9th grade history, and the Goths from a 90s mall.

Anywho, once the Empire fell a plucky pair of tribes led an arms race to see who could conquer more of Britain. These were the Angles and Saxons.

But WTF is the difference between Briton, Britain, the British, Brittany, etc.???

OK, so.

British

For the purposes of this story:

adjective; of or relating to the Britons, their Kingdom, or their language.

Britannia

The Roman and Greek name for this island. Named for the Britons, who the Romans conquered.

Britain (also, Great Britain)

The same fucking island.

England

One of the modern-day countries within the United Kingdom. The name comes from the Anglo-Saxons (who have been trying to conquer all the things since about the mid-500s).

Britney

Spears.

Duh.

Further Reading

You made it! Yay!